Scarcity versus Abundance

Scarcity vs. Abundance - Which one do you want for your kids?

Our words matter. The things we say to our kids matter to them. Sometimes I think we talk to our kids and think, “They’re not listening to a word I am saying”. And in some disciplining cases, that may be true but I think they hear more than we give them credit for. Sometimes they may not even realize they heard something but their subconscious still takes it on.

When it comes to money and the mindset and feelings we have around it, most of us have our past to thank for that. If a person grew up in a home that had a good relationship with money, more than likely, they too will have a decent understanding and feeling about finances. This person may be good at creating a budget. They may have a habit of allocating money to ‘giving’ and ‘saving’. This person may have a decent amount saved and feel comfortable with their income. This person more than likely has an abundance mindset. They know money flows in and out of our lives. They know that it is all around us, and they feel as if they have a good grasp on its basic concepts.

Likely, this person’s perspective on money differs greatly from someone who experienced financial turmoil growing up.

A person who grew up in a household that struggled financially sees money in a whole different light. In this person’s mind, money is scarce. The very topic of money may be a sore spot for this person. They likely don’t ‘have room in their paycheck’ to give consistently and they more than likely have very little savings. Money is a chase, something that is fleeting and frustrating for this person. The struggle here is real. Here’s why…

Scarcity versus abundance.

One household felt as if money was abundant. One household felt as if it were scarce

These mindsets are created by words and experience. These two households could make the same amount of money every year and still end the year with a completely different experience, different amounts saved, and different narratives of how good or bad their finances were that year.

The point I am trying to make here is that we want our kids to be the ones with the abundance mindset. The point and purpose of Wealthy Kid Academy is to create a healthy, wealthy financial foundation for our kids. That foundation is going to have to start at home, from you- their parent. Be conscious about the words you say, the phrases you use, and the experience you’re creating for your kids around money.

Money decisions are widely based on life experience and emotion, not fact.

So, create good experiences and feelings about money for your kids.

Here’s how:

1. Help them create an attitude of gratitude.
   
   Work and the ability to get it done is a blessing from God. Work can be hard, laborious, boring, and frustrating for everyone at times but it is still a blessing. Try not to forget that and make sure that it is what your kids hear most come out of your mouth. Yes, a hard day comes along now and then but showing and telling your kids how grateful you are that God has blessed you with a job that pays you so that you can provide for your family is extremely important. Also, we tend to take advantage of the fact that we are able-bodied. Work can be hard on our bodies but if we can get up and go to work or go outside and get work done, we are blessed. Share that with them. This positivity is healthy and makes them look at work and earning as rewarding. It also shows them that working and earning is a good thing, not a chore that they should constantly try to escape.
   

2. Don’t project your fears and worries about money onto them.
   
   Those are YOUR issues with money, not theirs. Create a new relationship with money for your kids and allow them to have an abundance mindset. You can do this by simply not discussing every financial woe with them or telling them when you can and cannot afford to do something. Don’t say to your kids “We can’t afford it.” Saying things like “I am deciding not to spend money on that right now” or “That is not a necessary purchase right now” is a much more positive and confident way of thinking about finances. The statement “I am choosing not to spend money on that right now puts you back in control. It shows your kids that you are not at the mercy of money and the things that you “cannot afford” but that actually, those things are at your mercy because you are CHOOSING to say no, not that you HAVE to say no. I am all for being open and honest with my kids which makes this tip exceptionally hard for me. However, I do make an effort to not talk negatively about money or tell my kids when I am having money worries.
   

3. Use the word ‘allocate’ instead of ‘save’. 
   
   To me, this is more important for our own money mindset more than for our kids’. When you tell yourself you are saving for something, it can sometimes feel like a depravity. If you are saving for a car, that means you cannot afford it right now and you are at its mercy. Often, “saving” also means that you are making sacrifices in other places in order to save that money. Do yourself a favor and again, put yourself back in control. Make yourself aware that you are choosing to allocate money to a car fund, not ‘saving’ for it. Tell your kids the same. This puts you and them back in the driver’s seat, literally!
   

4. Repetition builds belief and habit. 
   
   Tell yourself and your kids “Money flows to me openly and freely. Money is not limited.” Even if you don’t believe this right now, or maybe even laughed at this when you read it, your kids will most likely hear this differently than you did. This can turn into fact for them if you allow them to believe it. Again, create a NEW relationship with money, don’t project your money issues onto your kids.
   

5. Replace the negativity with a goal.

   
   Replace “I wish” with “How can we make that happen?”
   Replace, “That must be nice” with “Wow! That person is doing very well. You will do well for yourself too”.
   Replace, “maybe someday” with “I cannot wait until we accomplish that goal!” Your kids will hear the confidence you have in them and yourself when you use more positive speech about money. Instead of feeling like they are at the mercy of money, time, and accomplishment, these new phrases show them that THEY are the ones setting the goals and they DO have control over the outcome.

6. Picture the future with your kids.
   

   Talk to your kids about what they want to accomplish. Let them dream and talk about ownership. Be positive about their goals and dreams and really dig in. Let them picture themselves as what they want to be. Ask them for details so that they can really envision what their dream life could look like. Ask questions like What kind of house would you like when you grow up? Would you like to travel? Where would you go? What do you want to study in college? What do you want your job to be? Or what company would you like to own? Will you invent something? Who will that help? Will you help others when you’re an adult? Who would you like to help and why? Will you have a family?

   All of these questions just get them thinking about the future. It allows them to see past what today is or isn’t for them. After they tell you some details, remind them of it. Keep that dream going! Let them picture their positive future. If you don’t think it’s realistic, that’s ok, the world will show them reality soon enough. Encourage them! Having a positive picture of themselves and their future will help turn those dreams into realities. Positive mindset leads to positive results.
   

   Steve Harvey once said in a motivational speech, “If you decide to be poor, you’re going to be poor. If you decide you are going to be rich, you will not be stopped.” I want my kids and yours to be the ones who will not be stopped. Let’s help them get there!