Are We Giving Them Permission?!

If you have more than one kid, you probably have a scenario similar to everyone else with multiple children - the kids are very different. In many cases, polar opposites. In a large number of families, the first is usually the one that is put together, on time, and wants to impress and make their parents proud. The second child, typically is the one who is less put-together, a bit wild-spirited, and doesn’t have nearly as much interest in impressing everyone as the first one does.

My kids fit this mold to a T!

My first son hasn’t slept past 8 am in his life. He makes sure the rules are following the rules and would not ever want to disappoint anyone.
The second one on the other hand can sleep until noon, can’t quite fathom the reasoning behind rules, much less the rules themselves, and seems to believe that if you’re disappointed with his behavior, then that’s a YOU problem!

Because of this, he is deemed the ‘wild one’ by our family. He is often referred to as a bit animalistic and no matter what we say he has done, everyone just laughs and says “it doesn’t surprise me!”

Not too long ago, as I was telling a story about my little wild child, it was like I could hear the conversation from the outside. I could hear myself saying these funny things about my kiddo and then I felt a little bit guilty about it. It felt like I was almost encouraging his naughtiness.

It hit me, am I actually giving him permission to act this way when I tell these stories? Am I making him a ‘wild child’ by calling him a wild child to other people? Could it be that the labels I've assigned to him as the "wild child" inadvertently shape his self-perception and behavior?

We all know that words are VERY powerful. Words that others say to us, can stick with us our entire lives whether they are positive or negative. And a negative thing usually has a much larger effect than a positive thing.

Are my words about my little one making him want to live up to the ‘wild child’ persona that I am describing him as to other people?

This hit me hard!

I love my kid either way but I certainly don’t want to give him permission to act in a way that is not going to keep him safe and serve him well in the future.

That’s when a sermon from church came back to me…”speak blessings over them,” the pastor said. “Speak blessings over your family, your kids, your church, your community, your life.” Those positive words make you see the good things about what you’re talking about AND start to create those positive things in a profound way.

Speak knowledge, wise counsel and high favor over your kids. Pray for their safety and wisdom. And congratulate the positive decisions they make.

Letting them know how proud you are of their good decisions, telling others about that, and showing them that you will brag on them when they are being good, not just acting out, may have a huge impact.

Being a “wealthy kid” is about so much more than just money and investments.

Speak blessing and positivity over your kids and watch them grow in success.

With Love,
Amanda

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right."
- Henry Ford