I Can't Play Right Now. I Want To Be Helpful

Hello friends and Happy June!

I absolutely love summer and all that comes with it—late sunsets, warm evenings, the smell of the grill, and trips of any kind, whether they are day outings, weekend getaways, or full-blown vacations. To me, it doesn’t matter! I just enjoy having my kids all to myself and getting some time to unwind and connect with family and friends.

While summer often means relaxation and travel, it’s also a season of hard work. Many families tackle major projects during the summer, like painting or building something. Some families plant gardens and spend the summer tending to them, preserving, and cooking the food they produce. Even if there isn’t a large project, general maintenance can be a huge chore in the summer. Grass cutting, weed eating, landscaping, fixing, and maintaining—it’s a lot!

If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, you know I believe in letting kids pitch in on all these projects and chores. In my opinion, kiddos should be a part of household tasks and maintenance and should learn these skills from us—their parents!

Currently, my boys are 10 and 7, and they do a lot of work around our house. Bathroom cleaning, dishes, baseboard cleaning, room upkeep, laundry, and animal feeding are among the chores my boys are expected to take care of. They also help their daddy outside the house. For about a year now, my 10-year-old has been cutting grass and is actually getting pretty good at it! When he’s done cutting, my husband usually does the weed eating. However, this week, that chore has been passed on to our younger son. Not totally, of course, but he is learning how to take that over. According to him, he is the official weed eater at our house!

If you’re thinking, "WHAT?! How do they get their kids to do that stuff without a fight?"

My answer is, we don’t! It is a fight—every time!

However, we keep having the fight because it is so important to me and my husband, and I encourage you to do the same. Here’s why:

How do you feel when your husband brags about you? How do you feel when someone in your family says, “I don’t know how you do it!”? Doesn’t it feel awesome when your kids say, “Thank you, Mom,” or “I just need Mom!”? Of course, it feels amazing!

Why does it feel so good? Because it makes you feel needed. It gives you a sense of pride and creates a space for jobs and tasks that no one can perform like you do.

In the same sense, giving your kids chores and tasks that they are needed for is crucial for them. They too need to feel like they have a place in the family. They need to feel needed and like they have a purpose in your household.

I know this feeling is important to kids just like it is to us adults. Just a few days ago, my youngest was outside using his nifty new weed eater, and my oldest wanted to run up the street to see if the neighbor kids could play. The oldest said, “Hurry up! Let’s go to our friend’s house!” Now, the youngest had already completed the section of the yard that he was asked to complete and could have easily handed me the weed eater and run, but he didn’t. In fact, he told his brother, “I’m not going right now. There is a lot more that I could do to be helpful.” And with that, he put his glasses down and kept right on weed-eating!

To say I was proud is an understatement! I realized then how important he felt. He felt needed, and I could see the pride he was taking in the task he had. He knew it would be helpful to have the weed-eating done for his daddy when he came home from work, so he stayed and finished it up for him.

It was a great mom moment and an important one.

I need constant reminders that my kids are capable. I need to be shown that they can do things beyond the skill levels that I give them credit for, and I need to also remember that making them feel needed and important is more significant than them doing something perfectly or just the way I like it. Yes, I want them to do things well, but as long as I am willing to work with them and teach them how to do it well, that will come. Their sense of place in the home and the family is definitely more important than perfection.

So, this summer, I challenge you—give those kiddos some tasks that would be helpful for them to take over for you. Too many bathrooms to clean? Teach the kids how to do it. Too much mopping to possibly get it all done? Show the kids how to do it for you. Sick of CONSTANT laundry piling up? Pass that one off to the kids and make them responsible for their basket of dirty clothes!

No, it won’t be perfect. Yes, you’ll have to stand over them and instruct them the first few times. And YES, they will fight you. They will whine and complain and roll their eyes and ask why, but that’s okay. Just get through it and let them take on some responsibilities.

Every day, I have something to thank my boys for helping me with. Every day, I get to say, "Wow! You guys were so helpful with that today. Thank you! I couldn’t get it done without you."

Being able to say this to my kids is something I absolutely love, so please don’t miss the point here. I do make a huge effort to thank them. I remind them of how helpful they were and how much I need them and the work they do. I praise them and hope to get across that they are important.

If you’re thinking, “This is great and all, but how does it relate to raising wealthy kids?”

Well, in work, we need a sense of pride. We need to feel like our position or our business matters, and we need to feel like we, as people, matter in order to succeed. A positive outlook, mindset, and environment where you are allowed to learn and grow are crucial to mental health, self-awareness, and self-growth. People who feel good about themselves, know what they’re good at, and know that they are needed can build and do great things. A child who knows he has a place in the world and that the work he does matters is much more likely to grow up to have a successful business, a desire to create and improve the world around him, and take responsibility for himself, including his finances.

Happy Summer!

Amanda